What a Train Journey Reveals about People from Various Regions

I travel to Germany each year around Christmas time to visit my parents in Stadtlohn and I usually go by train. I have often recognized that depending on the region I drive through, the accent and the way people talk to each other changes a lot. As Christmas is coming, today I am travelling to Germany again and this time I will observe this phenomenon for you. Beware! You may find stereotypes and irony in this post. ;)

The voyage starts at 5:45. *Yaaawn*. I hate getting up so early. There are not many people in the train. Only one woman sits nearby, well, actually she is lying nice and cosy – like a real Austrian – with legs on the seats. Her quiet snoring fills the compartment while far away I can hear some Grazers talking in familiar accent. Hmm… I feel at home here, which is strange, as I am still a German citizen. I don’t mind. I will try to get some sleep while I am in this train.

I woke up in Schladming. Guess why! Yeeah right, because our compartment was invaded by drunken skiers. Some hours ago I thought that I was good at understanding Austrian accents but now that I sit here, half-asleep, listening to those guys talking, I think I should take a language course. I try to get some sleep again but it’s in vain. Therefore I decide to listen to their stories about good and bad snow and exciting après-ski parties. At least I think they talked about that.

Unfortunately the skiers left the train after one hour and I directly fell asleep. Now I’m awake again. I don’t know why and I don’t know where we are. Hmm… Are we in Bavaria already? Probably not. Outside everything looks just like it did before and in the train everything sounds like it did before.  I look at my phone and I realize that I was wrong. ‘Welcome to the EU…’ Ok. I guess there is no big difference between Bayern and Austria. I look at my watch. We are arriving in Munich in 20 minutes. I’d better wake my boyfriend and collect our luggage. As I will do a photo shoot with my sister, I have all my equipment with me. So there’s a lot to carry.

The cosy atmosphere of the first train is past. We’re sitting in the ICE to Essen and we’re surrounded by snobbish people in suits. Most of them are probably bankers on the way to Frankfurt, where they earn their money by stealing it from honest, hardworking people. But there are also managers in our compartment. Most of them seem to be obsessed with their job, because they’re talking about it so loudly (of course in perfect High German), that everybody has to listen, whether they want or not. The man behind us, for example, explains how he forecasts the future of a company with the help of brainstorming and mindmaps. He learned this technique in an advanced training. Now I know why Germany goes down the drain.

We have arrived in Frankfurt and now all those managers and bankers are gone. I should become a forecasting manager too! I didn’t even need a mindmap for this prophecy. There are only some backpackers and families left in the compartment. It’s so quiet! Even though it’s raining (not snowing…), Christmas spirit takes a hold of me now. In a few hours I will be home again.

We changed trains in Essen and I am really getting excited now. This little local train is the last one of our journey.  Only one hour until I meet my parents at a little station in a town called Borken. The wagon is stuffed full of people. Considering their Low German accent, the’re all farmers. They are probably on their way home after a shopping-trip in the huuuuuge shopping-city Essen. There is no way to buy a Christmas present when you live in a town north of the Ruhr area. I used to go shopping in Essen too, when I was younger.

A funny farmer talking Low German

I'm finally home! It’s good to see that nothing has changed here and I’m looking forward to spending Christmas with my family. But anyway I already miss my cats so much. A pity that we couldn’t take them with us. After all it is quite difficult to define the term home for me. Is it in Graz? Or is it in Stadtlohn? I’d say it’s in Graz AND in Stadtlohn. I will probably write one more post about my holiday here so stay tuned!